Semper et Aeternum
by rosa suscipit
Summary: It is a tale as old as time, it is the tale of love and love lost, it is the tale of a boy and a girl...One sided Canonical Snape/Lily. Rated M for swearing and some adult content. *DISCONTINUED*
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi, this is my first foray into the relationship of Lily Evans and Severus Snape, it was simply too adorable to pass up so I decided to have a go. I hope you like it and would appreciate any comments on it, I thrive on Reviews, though this will be as canon as possible, so poor Sevvy won't get the girl. :( Sorry to all those who like Severus/Lily but I am attracted by the fact that it's tragic and one sided. Well, hope you enjoy!**

SemperetAeternum

(Always and Forever)

Chapter One: Lily and Sev

The hall was dark and he waited, he knew she would come, she usually did...but the tight feeling in his gut made him worry. He hoped he wasn't sick on her, that would be humiliating and more than he could bear. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to another, his eyes searching the corridor as students passed him by without more than a cursory glance. Then he heard it, her voice.

"Sev!"

He turned and saw her running towards him, her thick red hair had been tied back in a long braid but it was her eyes, always her eyes that captured him. He smiled shyly as she halted by his side panting slightly, her smile lit the corridor and illuminated everything making it look beautiful, yet her radiance was for him and him alone. There was no one else she smiled for like that. "Hullo, Lily." He said softly, clutching a large book to his chest.

"So, have you had a good day?" She asked brightly as she took his arm and began steering him down the corridor. "You know I already have half a foot of essay to write on the Goblin Wars along with professor Slughorn's essay on the Dogsbane potion and Astronomy homework, I tell you this year's going to be hard!" She giggled as they turned right and went down a flight of stairs and into another corridor. "So, what have you been up to?"

The question caught Severus off guard and he stumbled slightly. "Oh...I...Yes, it's been busy."

Lily smiled and Severus returned it, he couldn't look away so he ended up walking straight into something. He dropped his books and blinked down at them.

"Oi! Watch it Snivelly."

His eyes moved to the boy he had walked into, he was tall with thick black hair that fell to his shoulders and dark grey eyes, beside him stood his friend with messy hair and round glasses which he pushed further up the bridge of his nose. Severus flushed blotchily and began muttering as he bent to pick up one of his books, one of the boys kicked it so it skidded across the floor and forced him to go after it, he moved but something tripped him and he fell flat on his face. Then the laughter started, it echoed around the hall and Severus felt his stomach twist painfully, his face burned and he felt tears prick the corners of his eyes.

"Go on, scrub around on the floor like a filthy Squib!" Black laughed. He kicked one of the books and it fell apart, the pages scattering everywhere. Severus reached for his wand and drew it, he tried to mutter the spell for fixing things but it wouldn't come to him, his mind was totally blank.

James had cracked up into hysterics, he was bent double and leaning heavily on Sirius' shoulder. "Oh Merlin! Would you look at him! What's he doing here if he can't even use magic?"

"I wanna know how he recognises one end of a wand from the other!" Black hissed.

Other people had joined in their mirth, the laughter echoed in Severus' head and made him want to throw up, but he willed it away, if he was sick in front of all these people he may as well die, especially if he threw up in front of Lily.

"I reckon he'd make a good clown, Jamie..."

"Yeah mate, shall we give him a makeover? Maybe the girls will find him prettier with a few more warts to cover up that unsightly nose of his..."

He heard Sirius Black snigger. "Oh Jamie, _do_ give me the honour."

"As you wish, dear friend."

"Black! Put that wand away or I'll tell McGonagall you've been duelling in the corridors again."

Severus looked up to see Lily standing beside him with her arms full of his books, she looked lovely as she glared at James Potter and Sirius Black as if she could set them on fire. Sirius had his wand out and pointing at Severus but he had his eyes on Lily, weighing her up as if to see if she would tell or not. "Evans! Gosh, didn't see you there, lovely day don't you think?" Potter said with his hideously easy smile, he pushed Black's wand down by his side and ruffled the back of his hair up casually. "So, you given any thought to going to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? It'll be our first time and I'd like to mark the momentous occasion with an equally momentous date...what do you say?"

Lily snorted derisively. "I think you must be drunk Potter, because I would rather contract Dragon Pox." She spun around and helped Severus to his feet with a gentle smile before handing his books back, Severus slid his eyes in Potter's direction and saw his eyes go dark as he glared at Lily's back. Sirius was leaning lazily against the wall, his hair falling casually into his eyes as he yawned widely and stretched. His mutter followed them down the corridor;

"Bad Luck mate, sounds like she'd rather go on a date with our dear old Snivellus than the greatest chaser ever to hit Hogwarts...maybe you'd have better luck with the Fat Lady?"

"Oh shut it, Sirius!"

Severus felt his mood lighten as he followed Lily out into the grounds, he did enjoy it when James Potter got his fat head deflated especially at the hands of his object of desire. He felt a warm sense of smug satisfaction when they stopped and sat on the stone steps beside the entrance, he smiled around feeling doubly pleased with everything as butterflies soared happily in his stomach.

"Oh, I do hate those two!" Lily snapped furiously, angrily slamming her bag down beside her and rummaging through it. "They're such gits, think they know everything when actually they do nothing but bully people and pull stupid pranks! I've never even understood why that lovely Remus hangs around with them...it's all so...so _stupid_!" She removed a quill from her bag and a small muggle diary, it was deep blue with delicate golden scrollwork around the sides, Severus felt a happy jolt when he recognised the quill to be one he had got her for her thirteenth birthday last year, it was a beautiful swan feather he had found by a lake they had played beside one summer. He had picked it up and taken it home and spent hours making a quill. It's tip was silver and he had wrapped silver wire up the stem, the feather its self he had managed to dye the same green as her eyes, it had taken him ages to perfect the colour but it made him happy to see her using it, even if it was rather clumsily done.

"What are you doing?" He asked leaning closer to see what she was writing, but she moved the book away from him with a smile.

"Now, now, Sev, you don't go and read a girls diary that's rude." Her reprimand was kind so he shrugged and sat back, removing one of his own books and opening it.

They sat in companionable silence until the bell rang for dinner and they stood and said goodbye, Lily waved over her shoulder as she ran up the marble staircase to put away her bag. Severus went down into the dungeons, still smiling happily as he was filled with memories of how close he had been to her, he could still smell her if he closed his eyes, a lovely mixture of almonds and honey.

"I really don't think you should hang around with that Mudblood, Severus."

Severus rolled his eyes as he rummaged in his trunk for his pyjamas, "How many times have I told you Avery, don't call her that." He muttered, frowning as he dragged out a pair of tatty pyjamas.

"But it's true. She's filth."

"Shut up!" Severus wheeled around, his wand in hand as he glared at his dorm mate. Avery held up his hands and eyed the wand apprehensively.

"Alright, calm down."

Slowly he lowered his wand and sneered. "You don't even know her, don't talk about things you don't understand." With that he changed quickly and climbed into bed after yanking the bed curtains closed. When he closed his eyes he could see Lily and he smiled into his pillow, hugging it as he sighed contentedly. He didn't need or want anything but to be close to Lily Evans.

That weekend he ended up going to Hogsmeade with Lily, they walked down the street arm in arm and he listened happily while she talked about her friends and the latest letter she had received from her parents. They went into Zonko's and began exploring the shop, Lily exclaimed over the strange wizarding toys and jokes, she laughed when Severus explained them to her. When they rounded a corner he looked up to see Sirius Black stood with his hands in his pockets as a girl tried talking to him, but he was looking haughtily bored by her and when his eyes met Severus' he dismissed her airily and an evil grin split his face revealing pointed white teeth. He was dressed in casual muggle clothing, with faded denim jeans and a tight white t-shirt, around his neck was a silver chain with a rune on it. He walked over to them, looking as if he owned the place. "Well, if it isn't little miss prissy and her pet snake. How are we this fine day?" He said in a slow drawl. Severus scanned the area cautiously, dipping his hand into his pocket and touching his wand. Sirius saw the movement and his grin widened to reveal more of his perfect teeth, he pushed hair from his eyes. "I wouldn't do that, Snivellus, I'm alone you see and you must be aware that we are in a shop surrounded by witnesses...so don't try that shit."

"Black, what do you want?" Lily said in icy tones.

"I'm bored." He said and shrugged.

"Well, go find entertainment elsewhere, we don't want you around." She took Snape's arm and began moving to the door, but Sirius slipped in beside them and followed them out the door.

"Well, I'm not one to give up that easily, I have decided that you could potentially provide me with some entertainment you see, and I won't be dissuaded."

Lily made an angry noise. "Sometimes I think you were put on this earth simply to irritate me, Black."

Sirius pouted petulantly. "You're cruel, Evans, too cruel."

"Go away!" Severus snapped furiously. "Lily doesn't want you around and neither do I, go find your lover."

"Who's that? Didn't know I had one...why wasn't I told of this?"

Severus hissed. "_Potter_. Go find Potter and lick his arse, like you usually are."

"Ah, you see there's the problem...my erm..._lover_...as you so delicately put it, is busy trying to get McGonagall's knickers off, so I am alone and now you're stuck with me." He smiled at Lily's disgusted expression. "I _mean_, Evans, he's in detention for filling the Prefects bathroom with stink sap instead of the usual bubbles."

"Then what about the others? Pettigrew and Lupin?" Severus muttered, trying to make him go away. He had awaited this moment for two whole years, he had dreamed of going into Hogsmeade with Lily and having a nice quiet date where they would laugh and have fun and sometimes, when he was sleeping, he would dream that she would kiss him...but now Black was there to spoil it all, and by the smirk on his stupid face he knew what he was doing.

At the mention of Pettigrew Sirius' face fell slightly. "Peter is busy trying to complete his late Transfiguration homework and our precious little Remus is ill again." He sighed and swept hair from his face. "So, like I said, you're stuck with me."

Severus hissed air through his teeth and hunched his shoulders, he knew Sirius wouldn't dare try anything other than be extremely irritating, not in front of so many witnesses, but he still wanted him gone. The sooner the better.

Lily seemed to have the same idea as she shot Sirius a heated glare that seemed to simply bounce off of him as he strode at their side. "So, where to next?" He said happily, walking with the kind of easy grace that Severus despised yet found himself wishing he could emulate.

"For the love of god, Black! Leave us _alone_!" Lily shouted, rounding on him furiously, Severus found himself smiling as Sirius found himself face to face with her wand. He put both hands up in a surrendering gesture as he eyed the tip warily, not even he could deny that Lily Evans was an accomplished spell caster. "Leave us alone or I will hex into next week!" Her voice was low and her green eyes narrowed, but Severus always loved her when she got angry her very hair seemed to crackle with magical energy and she looked more gorgeous than his wildest dreams, he found himself smirking.

Sirius's smile didn't slip, but it did become more calculating. "Well well, holding an innocent man at wand point, Evans...that's not very friendly, is it? What are you going to do anyway...if you curse me you'll be in detention faster than you can say Flobber Worm."

"Maybe I'd happily put up with a detention if it meant I could see what you looked like with a horribly disfiguring bout of pustules."

"Oooh, nasty." Sirius's eyes glittered, he seemed to be enjoying himself. "I'd like to see just how fast you are..." His hand dropped to his pocket but before he could grab his wand there was a shout and three other boys were walking towards them, Sirius didn't turn around but his smile widened. "Ah, just in time to spoil my fun. Oi! Potter! You interrupted her! She was going to show me just me how much she loves me!"

"Black! Stay the hell away from my woman!" Potter yelled back. "You fucking smooth bastard."

"You're just jealous of these amazing good looks." Sirius said as James, Peter and Remus stopped at his side. Remus _did_ look ill, his face was pale and he had an unhealthy pinched look to his face, but he managed to greet Lily with a tired smile. "Remmy, how are you old friend?" Sirius asked with uncharacteristic concern.

"I'm fine Sirius...what's happening here?"

"Evans is trying to explain how much she wants me by trying to curse me." He sighed dramatically. "Unfortunately she just doesn't understand that I'm really not partial to red heads, sorry chicken, I prefer blonds."

Lily rolled her eyes and stuffed her wand away before turning to Remus, she looked at him carefully with a concerned frown and Severus felt his smile slip from his face. "Remus, you don't look well at all..." She put her hand on his forehead, beneath his fringe. "Maybe you should go back to the Hospital Wing?"

"No, Lily, thank you, but I'm fine." He smiled brightly as if to prove it. "Madam Pomfrey fixed me up and I'll be as right as rain tomorrow, I'm sure of it."

Severus watched the others reaction and he caught the odd look that passed between James and Sirius, Peter was gazing off in a completely different direction looking morose. Something flashed between them, some kind of unspoken communication and Sirius flung his arm around Remus' shoulders protectively as he ran fingers through his hair with his free hand, he smiled lazily. "Now, we really should be off..."

"Unless of course Evans would be willing to ditch Mr. Greasy here and come with us?" James said with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

Lily looked disgusted and Severus felt relieved, even though he couldn't quite understand why she would rather hang around with him than one of the most popular groups in school. Still, he was hardly about to complain, not when Lily touched him on the hand and turned her back on the group. "Remus, please remember to rest, it won't do you any good to be running around and making yourself worse." She called over her shoulder.

"You sound like Pomfrey, but thank you Lily, I will." Remus called back as Sirius steered him away and the group wandered off towards the Three Broomsticks. Severus looked back at them over his shoulder, he saw Sirius suddenly jump and grab James around the neck, their laughter drifted down the street gaining the attention of everyone in the vicinity. He sneered and turned back to Lily.

"What do you think is wrong with him?" He muttered.

"Who?"

"Lupin."

"He's ill..."

"Yes, but what _with_? Have you noticed it's only around certain times? It's very suspicious if you ask me." He eyed her out the corner of his eyes and watched her wrinkle her nose slightly as she thought.

"He's probably got something wrong with his immune system or something the Healers can't heal...maybe he needs regular doses of something, like with muggle Chemotherapy..."

"Hmm...Maybe." Severus had a nagging feeling that there was something very strange about Remus Lupin, he was quiet and calm and yet he hung around with two of the most boisterous and loud people in Hogwarts. He was also sick a lot, either that or he was going home to see his sick mother. "Could be hereditary..." He said to himself as he watched his feet as he walked at Lily's side. "His mother's sick quite a lot as well."

Lily shrugged. "What does it matter? He's a sweet boy, we spend quite some time together in the Library when we're studying. He's mature and level headed...maybe he could kick some sense into those two idiots he calls friends."

Severus felt a sudden, terrible lick of jealousy when he realised that Lily was hanging around with a friend of James Potter's. That was almost as bad as him hanging around with Sirius Black. He shuddered at the very thought, he would rather throw himself off the Astronomy Tower than even contemplate being in the same room as Black that wasn't a classroom, and even that was nearly unbearable. He sighed and felt Lily slip her arm through his and rest her head on his shoulder, he couldn't stop the smile crossing his face as he got a waft of her hair, she smelt of strawberries. With a happy sigh he followed her into Honeydukes where she bought them both bags of sweets and they went to sit by the Shrieking Shack and ate them while laughing and joking.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The second chapter. This is simply a brief interlude between third and fourth year, I wanted to deepen their friendship and show how close the two are. So, apologies for such a short chappy but they will get longer, have no fear. Anyway, enjoy and any review would be appreciated and criticism is only accepted if it is constructive...I will not be insulted for no reason. :) **

Chapter Two: The Perfect Summer

The sun was high in the sky as Severus sat beside the filthy river, he was throwing sticks into the rushing waters and glaring at everything. He despised Spinners End, the place was filthy with the only interesting view was of tall chimney stacks and horrible dirty rivers. He sat there brooding and waiting for Lily, she had told him she had something exciting to tell him so they had arranged to meet up by the river. Escaping his father was hard, he was a man with brilliant eyesight when it came to making sure his only son remained in the house, but he had waited for him to fall asleep in his chair before the television before climbing out his window using the ancient tree and running to the river as fast as his legs could carry him. When Lily had sent him the owl he had been so happy even his mothers drunken rants didn't get to him as they usually did, he smiled as he pictured her smile and felt the warm sun on his face. He only wished he had some better clothes to wear, something cooler, he was dressed in his father's old shirt and a pair of ratty shorts, he had tried to do something with his hair too but tying it back only made his nose look bigger so he left it.

He lay back in the old brown grass and watched the clouds for a while, every one of them seemed to look like Lily's face, her bright smile and beautiful hair. He smiled and when he heard feet he sat up to greet Lily, his breath caught in his throat as he saw her running towards him. She was wearing a pair of dungarees and her long hair had been tied back in a pony tail so it flew behind her like a red banner. She wore a little flowery shirt beneath her dungarees and her smile was wonderful as she came to a halt beside him, she flopped down on the grass and leaned forward. "Guess what!" She exclaimed happily.

"I don't know...what?"

She pouted. "Spoil sport, you're no good at this game."

Severus smiled. "Sorry."

"No, never mind." She bounced up and down on the spot, her green eyes glowing. "My mum said it would be alright if you came to stay for the rest of the summer!"

Severus felt his heart soar. "Really?" He gasped.

"Yes! Isn't that brilliant? You can get away a few weeks early!"

"Wow! That's...that's..." his face fell and he sighed, hunching in on himself as he pictured his father's face when he asked if he could stay with Lily for the rest of the summer. "But my dad...he won't let me."

Lily sighed. "What about your mother?"

Severus looked out across the river. "You know she does what my father says..." He sighed heavily and ripped up the grass as he glared at it.

Lily put her hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Why don't we ask anyway? We won't know unless we try."

Severus looked at her, he couldn't deny her anything so he nodded and climbed to his feet, brushing himself down. Together they walked back to Spinners End and the dingy little house that belonged to his drunk of a father, he knocked on the door hesitantly before realising too late that his father had no idea he had escaped. He jumped back from the door, eyes wide as it opened. With a soft sigh of relief he saw his mother standing there, tall and skinny with dark circles beneath her eyes. She looked at the children before stepping back and letting them inside. "Don't wake your father...you know what he's like."

"Er...Mum?"

"Yes, Severus?"

"Um...Lily's mother has invited me around for the rest of the summer, would that be alright? I really want to go."

He watched his mother move her eyes to the living room where loud snores were coming from, not even being drowned out by the drone of some old war documentary. Finally she sighed. "Alright, this once, Severus. And when you return you must explain to your father everything, do you understand?"

"Yes. Come on Lily!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs. He couldn't keep the grin off his face, he didn't think he had ever smiled so much as he grabbed a bag and began dumping his clothes inside. Lily watched him in amusement. When he had packed what he thought he would need he saw Lily gazing around his bare room curiously.

"Is this it?" She asked, turning those beautiful eyes on him.

He shrugged. "It's got a bed and chest of draws...what more do I need?"

"I don't know...decoration? I'll tell you what, sometime soon we'll give this place a lick of paint...would you like that, Sev?"

He beamed at her and nodded. "I'd like that."

After that they left his house, closing the door quietly, on the doorstep Severus paused and looked at his house in concern. "I don't know Lily...I'm not sure if I should do this."

"Why?"

"Because...my dad'll be angry." He scuffed his battered trainer against the step and bit his lower lip. "My mum...she'll be here alone."

"She'll be fine Sev, come on." Lily held out her hand and he took it. Together they walked down Spinners End and into the next street, Lily's house was small but pretty with a lovely red door and golden letterbox. Severus had stayed there before but never for more than an afternoon, he followed Lily up the path with his bag in his hand and she knocked on the door. It was opened by a thin woman with a kind face, her hair was piled atop her head in a bun and she wore an apron, the smell of baking bread wafted towards them.

"Lily, you brought your friend, good. Come inside and Lily will show you to the spare room." Mrs. Evans stood aside and the children entered. "Lunch will be on the table soon, Severus, wasn't it?"

"Yes Mrs. Evans."

"Oh, call me Iris dear. We're having sandwiches, is there anything you dislike?"

He felt slightly awkward, people were rarely ever kind to him except Lily and he found it hard to take, he smiled shyly and shook his head. "I'm sure whatever you make will be very nice."

Mrs. Evans laughed. "You won't know until you try...anyway, Lily, show your friend to his room...and please tell your sister to come downstairs and help me, she's been moping in her room for the past hour."

Lily sighed and nodded. "Come on then Sev." He followed her up the stairs that led straight off the landing, the house was comfortable with brown patterned wall paper and photographs lining the walls, when they reached the landing Lily knocked on her sisters door. "Tuney, mum says she wants you to help her get lunch ready."

There was a pause and the door was opened revealing Petunia Evans, her long plain hair fell to her shoulders and she glared at her sister. "Why can't _you _help her?"

"I have a guest, and anyway mum didn't _ask_ me did she?" Lily rolled her eyes.

Petunia turned her gaze to Severus who stared defiantly back as she took in his horrible clothes. "Oh...it's you again." She said and dismissed him. It was a better reception than he could have hoped for, he had never got on with her. "Alright, I'll be down in a minute...and if I discover you've been in my room I'll tell mum and you'll be grounded." She slammed the door in Lily's face.

"Ugh...Like I'd even want to go in her room."

Their eyes met and Severus had to turn away to stop himself from laughing, both of them were remembering when they had snuck into Petunia's room and read a letter from Albus Dumbledore the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

That evening they both sat on Lily's bed, she had a record player where The Who played _Don't Look Away_. Her room was papered in pink wall paper, an eye-watering diamond pattern decorated it. Her bed was full of teddies and her school trunk sat in the corner with her cauldron and a stack of books. It was a light and airy room and Severus envied her, his own room was dark and dingy and smelt of damp and mould, hers smelt of perfume. Her laughter filled the air and filled him with an insurmountable joy, there was nothing in the whole world that could bring him as he laughed with her.

The weeks passed slowly and Severus had never been more content, he loved being with Lily and even her family were kind, except Petunia who treated him with cold indifference but he didn't mind that he hated her just as much as she hated him.

Once day Mrs. Evans announced that they would be going to a circus, Lily was so excited that her eyes shone. "I've never been to the Circus before! Have you?"

"No...we don't really go anywhere." He had replied, he shared her joy and when they climbed into the Evans' car he could hardly contain himself.

The Circus was huge, a sprawling mass of tents and games and stalls. Severus gazed around in awe as he was assaulted by the smell of candy floss and fresh doughnuts, he heard screaming children, people chatting happily and music. He grinned like a fool as Mrs. Evans gave her daughter some money and they ran off hand in hand.

"Don't go too far! Don't talk to strangers and meet here at five! You hear me?"

"Yes mother!" Lily called back over her shoulder before she tugged Severus after her. "What do you want to do first?" She asked when they stopped beside a large tent with red stripes on it.

"I don't mind..." He replied gazing around at the place and feeling a little lost.

"Well, I want to go see the clowns...come on, I think they're this way."

It was the most wonderful thing Severus had ever experienced, everything was bright colour, bright smells and there was always something new to explore and do. They played on the games, throwing hoops over sticks to try and get a prize, when Lily had caught him cheating by trying to use a bit of magic she hit him playfully. She managed to win a bear and then they went off and brought some candy floss, it was sweet and sticky and gave them both sugar-rush.

That night Severus couldn't sleep, he lay awake still trying to process the day, his mind buzzed crazily and when he closed his eyes all he could see was Lily's pretty smile. When his door opened he opened his eyes and sat up, Lily stood in his doorway smirking deviously as she crept across the room and sat down on his bed. "I got ice cream!" She said producing a tub and two spoons, she giggled and opened it. "Dig in...just don't tell mum."

They ate ice cream and whispered about their day. "I liked it when the clown was juggling, it's amazing, especially when he was on that uni-cycle."

"I liked the fire poi...they were so cool." Lily's eyes clouded over as she sucked on her spoon and gazed absently out the window. "And the horses, they were pretty too."

"The contortionists!" And so on it went until the early hours of the morning when Lily stole back to her own room.

It wasn't long before the holidays came to an end and they were once again packed onto the Hogwarts express and whizzing back to Hogwarts, Lily and Severus shared a compartment on the way there and talked happily about the holidays. Severus felt a little disappointed that it was over, but he now had a stack of photographs to remember it by, even if those photo's were Muggle ones.


End file.
